Bubbly.

Does anyone have the answer to complete happiness? It's funny how our moral can be squashed so quickly, yet brought back up by time and good glass of wine. What determines whether or not we will have a good day at work, or school? I've tried the whole "get pumped up" thing....bump to some tunes, splash cold water on your face, or put your OTHER leg into your pants first for a chance. A good cup of coffee. Green eggs and ham. I try to think of how my life could be different, for the worse, then remind myself of all the joys in my life. I've convinced myself over time that its just a hormonal freak out on my end that causes me to ponder day in and day out why I need to be happy, and why I struggle when all I seem to fall back on is Monday thru Friday 8-5. Maybe its just an age thing. I mean...who WANTS to surrender half of their income to taxes, or spend your entire evening after work cleaning and cooking dinner. It's funny to think of the American Dream...and how its just not so much of a dream. I can't complain for the job I have, or the home I own, and what it takes to get to the top, but whoever decided 40 hours a week was a good thing? It makes you transfer your thoughts on a career, and getting ahead...that you forget what true happiness is all about. I think it just comes when it wants to. You can sometimes control it, I suppose. I love when my husband comes home from work and surprises me with flowers, and spends the evening watching a movie and cuddling. Somehow that piled up load of darks has that still small voice! So...I'm going to challenge myself this week. The moment my eyes open to that darned alarm, I will tell myself 5 things that truly makes me happy.

For now, I am truly thankful for:
*a paycheck
*Kenny Chensey
*my customers
*friendship

~H3

Close call. oh, and I'm back.

I haven't decided whether or not to document every day's "happenings", or rather just when something exciting unfolds. So, first we can start with New Years Eve, the day I took TWO positive prego tests and then spent my Eve sober while the rest of my friends had a good time, per say. Sunday, two days later, I took another test, only to get a negative. After reading many forums, I was sure I had either had a quick miscarriage or still pregnant. Surely. After my doctor appointment today for something entirely different, my doc informed me she would check my already given urine sample for the hcg hormone. Negative. So now I have to wonder why ..'certain things' were tender and sore and why I got a positive result, twice over. The mystery I guess, will never be solved! I can't decide if I'm happy or not. I think secretly I was hoping I was, by some freak chance. My mom was "fertile mertile", so why couldn't I be, right? Weird. Now I have to cope with reminding myself that its okay to drink caffeine, or wine again. (And that I dont have to clean out one of our spare bedrooms). On another note, I hate talking on the phone. Loathe it entirely. I'd rather be shot.

That is all.

Today, I am thankful for:
*journals
*the untrained eye
*Pepsi
*understanding

~H3

I am....alive.

Alright...so once again here I am...trying this whole blogging thing via mobile. Please allow me to pipe in now and apologize for my cell's lack of a ''comma'' button. I've resorted to ''.....'' instead.

A new-found friend of mine Brittney (coincidently met in ...book club) sent me a link to her blog which in turn inspired me to recharge my own.

I had almost forgotten about you.

So a LOT has happened since the last time I logged on here. Where to begin...well...September 19th of 2009 on Bastendorf Beach in Charleston OR around 2:30pm I got engaged to my very best friend. Our tentative wedding date is June 26th of 2010 at a Butterfly Pavilion & Garden. Since then he has also become a full-time mechanical engineer for a local company. We have also purchased a new car: Honda Civic Si. So now we have the good-gas milage car...and my 10.7 mpg hog of a V8. I still love it- like the day I bought it. This week we will also be signing on papers to rent a townhouse! Our new neighbors are super friendly..about our age..and newly married- just like we will be. So for now it is all about pre-marital counseling and wedding planning. Honeymoon plans have changed & we are now vacationing in Riviera Maya (just a hop. skip. and a jump from Cancun) at an all-inclusive resort complete with honeymooner's package. Take it from the Roseburg girl who only knows State Parks in a tent for a vacation. I have never seen Disneyland nor anything remotely tropical...so this is bound to be a culture shock. I can't wait. Knock me off my feet Mexico- please! In the midst of all this honeymoon talk I forget to elaborate on the amazing man I am about to marry. I could go on for pages...or you could just resort to my former blog postings and see this hunk-of-a-stud yourself.

Speaking of this hunk-of-a-stud. Of all things I am worried about over married life...I am completely tossing and turning at night thinking about what I am suppose to feed this man till death do us part. Cooking makes me nervous.

Just.Cant.Stop.

Forgive me (in advance) for the lack of grammatical & punctuational correctness as I am attempting to Blog via mobile.

So I'm reading this book by Gary Chapman called ''The Five Love Languages''. Chapman describes 'how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate' by way of 5 different things: Quality Time. Words of Affirmation. Gifts. Acts of Service. Physical Touch.

Needless to say- I recommend it to anyone and everyone whether you're married or not. The kind of love he talks about can be applied to friendships...your work environment...church...just in the way you treat people & how they want to be treated. Not everyone's love language is the same- which Gary says unfortunately results in divorces and split families.

I picked this book up at our local Christian Bible book store for about $15...but my guess is you might score a good deal on Amazon or EBay.

And yes! I read too much. I'm still working on the Left Behind series...im now on book 9 out of 12. I'm still working on 'Walking With God'. What else am I going to do for 8 hours a day? Do get the book! And DO share it w/everyone around you!

Aspire to...and you will Find.

I aspire to not gossip
I have found that I wouldn’t like people talking about me, so I wouldn’t like to talk about them.

I aspire to do my best in college and come out swinging
I have found that there is more to life than who has the most friends or comments on MySpace or Facebook.

I aspire to be an awesome mom and the betty crocker wife
I have found that that’s all I’ve ever wanted to truly be.

I aspire to make mature decisions
I have found that I’m several steps ahead of most people my age..and I stand tall knowing I reached a point of maturity early in life.

I aspire to choose my friends wisely
I have found that the friends in my life the most are the ones worth fighting for.

I aspire to never follow the crowd
I have found that what the world says is right, popular, cool and fun... is generally always wrong.

I aspire to forgive and forget
I have found that holding grudges is nothing but a burden on no one’s shoulders but the one who carries them.

I aspire to never be jealous of what I wish I could have...or what I don’t have
I have found that I am far more blessed than not only most people my age, but most people in general.

I aspire to throw away my pride
I have found that it’s not the clothes you wear, the cars you drive, or the money you pretend to have that matter.

I aspire to make smart financial decisions
I have found that money will NEVER buy you complete happiness; the fun always wears off.

I aspire to show more compassion
I have found that in time, people need to be shown they are loved and cared for… even when the rest of the crowd doesn’t see them.

I aspire to take good care of my body; mentally, spiritually & physically
I have found that you only live life once and you can never take back a decision you have already made and completed.

I aspire to smile and laugh often
I have found that life is too short to be jealous, demeaning, prideful, lustful, and overall negative. There are so many more things to be thankful for to ever have to stop and be concerned with who is doing what or what juicy gossip has been leaked your way and who you can tell it to next.

I aspire to follow God’s Will and be compliant to the standards He has set for me as a child of the Most High
I have found that that is what life is all about and THAT is why I aspire to always do the best I can, yet be fully aware mistakes will be made, judgments will be passed, things will be said, and people will talk about anyone, anything and everything, opportunities will rise and at the same time be taken away, pride will come and go, jealousy will sting and hurt for a while… but that’s okay.

It’s not winning the race that rewards you; it’s having fun doing it and having the strength & endurance to persevere till the very end that makes every second worth trying.

Decisions.

Sometimes when you least expect it (or when you choose to neglect what's coming to you all along), life throws you a curve ball. It doesn't always have to be a bad one, no one ever said a curve ball was a bad thing, just another move in the game of life to mix things up a bit...make it interesting.

You can put things off as long as you want to, but it only builds up more and more, the more you choose to do so until the pressure is so incredibly strong, everything else, important or not, becomes obsolete. You know it's there, and so does everybody else. I find myself "weighing my options" in most every situation. Perhaps that's my way of coping with tough decisions that come my way, but for the most part, it generally works. I'm stuck in a scenario where I have weighed my options to either a) follow my heart and go with what I know is right or b) be stubborn, stay behind and be miserable yet..content in some factors.

It's easy to be a in comfort zone. And it's even easier to want to stay in it. We can't always live life in a place that makes us feel warm and fuzzy..who knows..we could be missing something great on the other side. Sometimes we have to jump on the train and follow the long road ahead.

Take risks in life, and don't be afraid to be happy.

Today, I am thankful for: Bible group, prayer, warm apple candles, VS lotion, socks, and fleece blankets.

Here's Your Free Boost:

Don't tell God how big the storm is...tell the storm how big God is!