My Life In A Blender

I wake up at 6:45am. By 7:49am, I am in my car heading down my apartment driveway to get to work by 8am. At 7:56am, I clock in at work, walk to the "secret room" to get the till key. I unlock the conference room door, turn on the lights, open the main door, turn the radio station knobby to "4" (loud enough so I can hear it over my mini space heater), grab the newspaper that the CFO gets every morning and put it in his box, and make a couple pots of coffee before everyone comes sliding in sideways in a hectic panic for their morning caffeine. As I walk down the halway to come to work in the morning, the phones are already ringing off the hook. I already want to pull my hair out just hearing them. It's no wonder I hate talking on my OWN phone. I seriously...hate phones...especially ones with 7 lines. Ugh. So I sit down to calm down the flock of calls, take care of the furious customers who didnt get their deliveried or what have you, and this all goes on for about an hour...actually...this goes on all day. ...Most of the people who call, are people from our other offices, and when they do actually call- they spend 10 minutes from the time I pick up the phone trying to remember who they called while there are 6 other lines going off the hook in the background. Each phone line rings twice, after the second ring, it rings in the back office...and if that happens, I get yelled at.

While the phones are ringing off the hook, I have a stack of old open invoices I have to delete. To complete these, it takes about an hour- so WITH the phones going nuts- it's double time. Ridiculous. I still want to pull my hair out. As we speak, it has been about 2 minutes since the phone has rang- that's a record. What's even funnier is as soon as I made that comment- three lines went off. Anywho, so I am deleting these invoices- staring at a computer screen, doing the same repetative movement for an hour or so. In the meantime, everyone is opening my door asking me if I could make another pot of coffee (which wasn't in the job description, mind you). So, I get up, gently (slam) my papers down and briskly (slowly, and angrily) get to the kitchen to make my children their coffee. They're so cute because even when I put up a sign telling them to turn the pots off if they are below half full or empty- they still do it...and they break, and the coffee burns- and I get the shotty looks. Barf.

While all of this nonsense continues, I have customers pulling up into the parking lot, which takes them 20 minutes to park because the parking lot is small and they cant seem to figure out how to get between the lines. They come in to pick up an order. So they issue is, I have to either call out to two different places to get them to bring up the order- the problem is- in order for them to hear me, I have to scream. Yeah, I said it...literally yell into the phone like a fool.

Then there's the dry ice fiends. I don't know what it is about the phrase "dry ice", but I want to cringe every time I hear it. Everyone wants it- and they think this is the only place to buy it- then they get mad at me when I tell them we do not accept credit cards, lol, like it's my fault.

While all this is happening, I have about 7 or 8 windows open in the bottom of my computer screen trying to finish my math or sociology homework. I have a handy-dandy lil headset so I can answer the calls with a simple push of a button, without having to slam the phone down and pick it back up every time. I like it. It seems to keep me slightly sane. It actually helps a lot. I'm in love.

While all of this is going on, I am dancing in my chair because I have drank 4 cups of coffee and in order to use the restroom, I have to have someone take charge of the "dear, sweet phones." I wish there was some button I could push that just put them on hold until I was available to pick up. This is getting to be a pretty big company- and frankily- one person answering all of the telephone calls to this joint (moi), is entirely one too few.

Finally, 1 o'clock rolls around- lunch time. One hour of pure bliss. Food, visit with the fam, get some fresh air. Good stuff.

I come back at 2, and do my half of the deposit and once that is done, I spend the rest of my work day doing homework while answering the phones and assisting customers with their pick-up orders.

Once my work day is over, it is my stress relief time at the gym- I either run on the treadmill half time and run on the bike the other half, or I go to kick boxing two days a week.

After that, I go shopping for my food, toiletries, what have you. Then I go home, unpack it all, wash my stinky smelly gym clothes, make some quick dinner (usually soup), and finally wind my night down with some more studying, then talking to the boyfriend.

REPEAT. The alarm goes off at 6:45am.

Soooooooooo anywho. I'm just sayin'.

Thanks for reading.

Till next time...

~H3

Today, I am thankful for: KFC, $2 bills, late night YMCA staff to unlock my Kick-Boxing room because I forget my rings on the window sill. Ha.

A Rude Awakening.

I am growing up...much older than I was when Barbie Jeeps and Baby Bottle Pops were a must-have. My goal is to go to a different college (those of you who know what's going on know which one I am talking about, but for the sake of online safety, I will not disclose it's location.) My goal is to live somewhere else for now (and you know where), so that I may save up enough money so that I can afford to go to school there. Is anyone planning on paying for my housing while I go to school there? Those people who are now judging me, starting rumours, elaborating and steering from the truth...do they plan on paying my rent when I go off to this college? Most likely not- as I have been paying my own housing for the last year + now.

Unfortunately, in order for me to get my degree and to get accepted in to the Dental Hygiene program, I will be taking 20+ credits A TERM. In order to get accepted into the program, you must be full-time, committed and determined. I am done feeling guilty. There is no guilt left in me. I have decided that I need to do what is best for my future and my current conditions. There is no where else for me to go. I will not continue to live in a place that sucks if not all, most of my full-time paycheck...when I am only there long enough to sleep in the place. I am sorry for the people (Grandma and Grandpa especially) who are forced to hear the wrong side of the story- and for thinking I am moving there for all the wrong reasons. I am going by what I need to do...and someday, when the lies are done being told, and the stories and rumors that are floating about have left the table (like the Telephone Game), and I finally have my degree, those of you who feel I am making a bad choice will then be proud of me. You have always been proud of me, and there is no reason to stop now. There is nothing wrong with my decision. There are people (and most of you know who) who are telling stories and blowing things out of proportion. Jealously is clearly an issue- there's no denying that- and we all know it. I have lived my life as a God fearing person, and I will continue to do so. There have been complaints of me not seeing certain people on a regular basis or spending time with those certain people- but the reality of it all is- over 80% of my graduating class have moved away to go to bigger and better colleges that I could not afford. Their families are LUCKY to get to see them on Christmas and Spring break- alone. Even then- a phone conversation is a rarity.

If everyone cared about my life as much as they care about this extremely stupid and ridiculous situation that has recently come up- you all would know that I am busy, even now, working full-time and trying to do homework, studying, and preparing for exams- by making a scene out of a nothing scenario only puts more pressure and stress on me...much more than anyone my age should handle. If you want me to be successful, you'll let it go. I will not pass this term if I cannot focus on my schooling- and money will be wasted- and I do not want that. We all know, when we stop and think about it, I have no where else I could go...realistically. The option arose-and I took it. I want to save money so that I can better myself and go to college! I want to do that more than anything- why can't people understand? Oh there is just so much I could say to back myself up it's almost annoying.

I played out the pro's and con's- and I have made my decision, and it is this: I am moving; I am going through with it. I have prayed about it and I feel this is the best decision for me to make. If it were wrong, God would have stopped me dead in my tracks- and at this point- the gate is wide open and welcoming. I am moving to where I can financially afford to save up the money I need to go to school. Unless someone steps up to the plate and offers to pay all of my college fees (since they will be quadruple what they are now), and living fees, I will silence myself. However, as I get older, I want to do more and more on my own- and that way it shall stay. I want to do it on my own for the sake of saying I did it on my own when this is all over with. No one, or no one thing will make me change my mind otherwise. I am tired of living my life in fear of what someone will say or do...or fear of failing certain people. I am a good person, and I always have been. My morals and values have brought me this far- and they're not about to disappear. For the record, I am not Peter Pan. Unfortunately (but fortunately for me), I have to grow up. I have been out of my parent's house for over a year now. It was good timing when I did, because everyone knows I was not happy and was constantly struggling for freedom.

I am an adult now (and legally have been for some time), and from here on out I will only get older. And another thing- since nobody knows- I will be paying rent there, too. ...Only FAR less than what I am now. I am tired of seeing all of my hard-earned money go into nothing. All of it. Living paycheck to paycheck is a joke. I have tried it all. I have tried getting a roommate- I've even gone so far as to ask people who I haven't seen or talked to since kindergarten, or people I have met once or twice- because I was that desperate to get approval from my family. I am done trying to please anybody and everybody. So it is time for me to do what I need to do. There is nothing more to say. I will not be changing my mind, because it would only mean my future is at stake. And until the day comes when the people who resent me for it now realize this, I have nothing more to say to anyone. Holding a grudge will not hurt anyone but you.

Thanks for reading.

~H3

*Today, most of all, I am thankful for: A loving and caring God who sees me for what and who I am, and gives grace in all things- who shows me that there is more to life than trying to live up to other people's standards- who gives me strength and courage day in and day out- who has opened my eyes to a future that is bright, plentiful and blessed- who has given me friends who are understanding and God fearing-who has give me the opportunity to walk in other peoples shoes and to see things the way others see them- but most of all- who has given me the ability to

forgive and forget.

I'm Taking A Rubber Mallot To My Phone.

Honestly? Could this phone ring more? Seriously? Can all seven phone lines fill up any faster? I'm about to go insane. This is also, mind you, day like 3 million that I have had these severely ridiculous head pains. I think I'm gonna die. If I do die, this is my will as follows:

Credit Card Debt: n/a.

Quad: my little sister Melanie.

Car: my little sister Melanie.

Laptop: my little sister Melanie.

Guitar Hero: Jared. (cause he's my brotha rock.)

Stinky Sweaty Gym Clothes: Good Will (cause we all know they will sell it for twice the original cost).

Socks (toes socks included): my little sister Melanie.

Shower Cap: my best friend Rachel. (just cause she got me one in Mexico.)

...And well, I guess that's all I am good for. So, upon the arrival of my death, I wish to be cremated and my ashes mixed with a Sonic Cherry Limeade (or Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks! Mmm. See yesterday's blog entry for details) and spread throughout the Oregon Dunes. Yes, please.

Now that we have that covered, on to the good stuff:

I must say that I am incredibly excited for snow. Believe it or not, I am preparing myself to go ice skating. Yes, that's what I said. And no, I have never gone. My goals in life are few but important. Someday, I hope to go to DisneyLand, Paris, Vegas, Australia, Hawaii, Mexico. Ah, let's just get a round trip ticket around the globe (is that possible?) Could you just imagine how much a ticket of that mass cost? My entire 401k? Which, brings me to another complaint, but I will save that for another day. Let's just say, at this point, social security will be squashed upon my coming retirement age.

Andddd another thing. Let's talk: dirt rain. Yes, it is possible, and yes, my little town did indeed suffer from it. I awoke from my slumber this morning (or lack there of) and out the door I go for yet again, another day at the office, only to find my car cover is soot. Now, I know I let my car get beyond unreasonably filthy, but let's face it- it can only get so bad before even the dirtiest of mall rats get sick of looking at it. I remember it being dirty, but not this bad. So I get in my car and blast the windshield wipers- only to smear the sludge further. Good news was, apparently, I was not the only one suffering from this disease, but my fellow co-workers (and the entire county) as well. It was gross. Luckily, it rained again and fortunately for us, it was clean and powerful enough to wash away the...whatever it was. It looked like some cowboy/hick/get r done/cattle hurdlin' stud muffin had his bottom lip cascading with Grizzly tobacco chew and just blew chunks across the globe. Stupid hill-billys.

I love you guys, really....I do....just keep it in your lip.

Well, that's all for now. No Brad Pitt, six-pack showin' hunks today. Just a nice pack of Grizzly. Till tomorrow....

~H3

*Today, I am thankful for: Excedrin Migraine, Ebay, ridiculously large coffee cups, Sally Hansen Hard As Nails and ATV oil (20-50 solution.) Yeahhh buddy.

...By the way: Firestone smells like a jellyfish. I'm just saying...........they suck, don't do business with them.

Crying Shame.

I start my morning off groggy...and it feels just like a Monday morning- only, this is Wednesday. Ugh. So I manage to flop myself outta bed and onto the cold carpet (is there such a thing? I'm only jealous because most good writers manage to mention the "cold hard floor"- but I have carpet- so...yeah.) Anywho, so I get ready fairly quick, most likely because I skipped my morning "MySpace check". I decided to hit the local Starbucks for a Honey Latte. Now lemme tell you what: these things are a God-send. Amazing, nonetheless, expensive, so it had better be good. I come along skipping ever so cheerfully up to the register and prepare to make my selection. Then it hit me: my worst nightmare. (It couldn't have gotten any more worse, really.) They discontinued the Honey Latte. The barista told me this with his cheeseball, toothy grin/smirk and I just about hit the floor. I would have hit the counter in front of me if weren't blocking my ever so dramatic exit. I stare blankly at the man...for quite some time actually. As the line expanded with more hopeful dramatics, the man, Chris was his name, forced me to decide upon something else. Terribly unsatisfied, yet parched, I make a new selection. Pumpkin Latte. Yes. It was close enough. It was rivaled with the Honey Latte last year, so I figured it must have beat the consumer reports. My experience with this sludge was that the barista put on whip cream and the whip cream turned to chunks and settled down at the bottom of my cup so that with every single sip, I choked...tasted like a wax ball. Gross. But, reluctantly, I gave it another shot- and make darn sure- that whip cream was not present. I waited at the other end of the booth and tapped my heels impatiently, while checking the time on my Palm. He scoots the Latte across the counter- and I take the first sip. YUM! HOLY COW! DELICIOUS! MORE! YES PLEASE! Seriously, absolutely divine. I highly recommend. America- great job, for once in a long time, you have made me proud. Way to rule out that Honey Latte. So now, this infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte is officially number one on my charts. For a Venti, however, you're looking at roughly $4.10. No joke. I almost threw up a lil in my mouth, too. So make sure before you depart your local Starbucks location, you investigate the flavor first.

So now, I sit here...flipping through a US Weekly magazine to only be, yet again, disappointed. The man I once loved, adored, admired, and drooled over, failed me. On page six of the October issue: it hit me. Brad Pitt. O dear, Brad Pitt (moment of silence.) ......... Yes, well. So I read this article that he and Angelina Jolie refuse to be married until everyone had the right to marry. So he donates $100,000 for gay rights. Why Brad?!? Why?!? Is this just an excuse to avoid marrying Angelina so that you may marry me?!? Miss Ellen DeGeneres and her "significant other" Portia de Rossi claim that they are "thrilled to have his support." I bet you are. You see, the way I see this whole issue is, well, it's ridiculous and asinine. There are many people for gay marriage, and I, for one of the many that don't am more than willing to tell you why. For one, the obvious, I am a Christian. I believe God put Adam and Eve here for a reason. It was not Adam and Tom or Eve and Persephone. It was Adam and Eve. Man and woman. Now you can say that it shouldn't matter who a person wants to love- but I say it does. What if, by some crazy slim chance, that every single child from here on out is "born" gay? The world, as we know it would slowly, but surely, come to an end. It is unnatural- and to me and many others, just gross. I do know a few gay people, and I adore them! Terribly nice and friendly people- but that doesn't make it right. You can be a drug addict and be the nicest person, yet still be in the wrong. To make a long story short: Brad, you disappointed me...and I am no longer your fan.

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I take that statement back...but I am irritated.
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For now, I am cool, calm and content. I have an iced tea next to me, a belly full of a Caesar grilled chicken salad and I am ready and pumped for kick-boxing class tonight. We will see what else I can find to complain about tomorrow or what have you. Till tomorrow...


Thanks for reading.


~H3


*Today, I am thankful for: The book "This Present Darkness" by Frank E. Peretti, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, no-slip hair ties, and postage stamps (to go on my Voter registration pamphlet! Heck yes.) Look out O'Bama: I'm gonna make sure your face never even sees the coffee maker in the White House.

Munchie Day- Is A Good Day.

So...I've recently discovered that I am a sucker for a good artichoke dip. While others in the office have been working their way to the bottom of the fruit and veggie trays- I have been devouring the pasty, ooey goey stuff since the lid cracked open. Though I know half of the ingredients are bound to stick to my insides for at least the next seven years, I cannot refrain. Good stuff- really. I could be more descriptive, but I'll leave it at that. Yeah...and I made cornbread and chili? Dorkfish. Whatev. I was proud.

I stayed up until midnight or later doing laundry and cleaning profusely. I'm sure my neighbor upstairs had a rugged night of sleep. Poor girl. My clangin' and bangin' of the washer and dryer door I'm sure was no blessing. But it's got to be done! Perhaps....earlier. Maybe? Ah, she's lived there and put up with me for at least a year now- so it must not be too bad, right?

Kickboxing is kicking my butt, to say the least. No pun intended. My calves feel like they are going to peel off the back of my legs, and my shoulder blades feel nearly attached. But goodness! I feel so much better! (Now if only this artichoke dip didn't replace the fat I thought I'd lost this week, lol.)

You know what really makes my day? Ah, I'll tell ya. So today I had the head honcho of the truck maintence shop tell me that he hoped that his granddaughter will turn out just like me someday. Although that's not the first time he has told me that, this time it was very meaningful. And ya know what? It's so nice to hear stuff like that. I don't hear things like that often- I give them more than receive them, and that's okay. It's kind of nice that way, because then it always makes it that much better, and more pleasurable to hear. Just the littlest of things like that make my day perfect. Thanks, Bruce =)

Something funny about shower radios that I have recently discovered... Haha. This makes me laugh- I don't know why- but it does. I always always always have to be listening to music- in the car, in the shower, in the morning when I am getting ready, when I go jogging, the like- anyways, so I've been having a heck of a time with getting the channel to stay put. It gets really fuzzy whenever I get close to it. So if I step forward in the shower to rinse out the shampoo or what have you, it gets super staticy! "My Jesus, my Savior, Lord there is none like kzshsshkzshsskzkzhskzkzzh" Lol. That's what I hear. But if I step back, it's super clear. Or sometimes it gets really quiet for a moment- so I'll crank it up. Then, the signal will come in really strong and it's like 10 times louder- to the point where I jump and the soap runs into my eyes- and I'm sure, awakes my neighbor. God help her. Lol. Is my head that big that I block a clear signal? Maybe that's how we get "music stuck in our head" haha. Everyone must have shower radios?!? What can you do.

Bitter-Sweet weekend, here I come.

O how I crave a Honey Latte from Starbucks at this very moment.

Thanks for reading.

~H3

*Today, I am thankful for: Les Schwab, Odis Spunkmeyer, black dress socks, and Bic permanent markers. (That artichoke dip fits in there somewhere, too.)

Oh, and Katie- since you're reading this...you're my home slice.

Details of Life

We spend our whole lives trying to define our purpose: our reason for living, working, eating, sleeping, breathing, and repeating. Every day entails some routine endless task that- lets face it, no one looks forward to. There's people in your life that come, and people that go. Some people you develop relationships with earlier in life soon disappear and are never to be seen again. They change, as you do also. Some change with you. You discover that the things you believed to be faultless and innocent have secrets that eat you from the inside out. You find that people in authority have real struggles, just as you. You see different sides of people as you grow to develop a mind of your own.
Time is limited for life's little pleasures like video games, Saturday morning cartoons, concerts, and the like. I guess we just find that there are more important things to consume our time with. You meet the people who will become your life-long friends that are there with you through thick and thin. At some point, just after graduating high school, you discover the people who said they will always be there for you, just may not. You discover that there's more to life than SAT scores and winning "best dressed" in the yearbook. The certain talents that people are ever so blessed to have no longer threaten you, but impress you.
Ah…life's little treasures that truly take your breath away. You begin to pay more attention to the world around you: the sounds, the sites, and the smells. The Almighty Creator put so much time, love, care, and inspiration into our world, down to the finest detail- you and I. The things that once passed me by- catch my eye. The things that mattered, that went unseen are now being seen. Lyrics to music, and the thoughts that go through our minds as we take it all in, are now being understood. Perhaps, this is a mid-life crisis too soon? Nah. I think everyone who will read this has just about reached the point of their lives where the little things begin to count. Otherwise- they wouldn't have been able to read thus far.
A child is born, and we found them cute and cuddly, but pawned them off to their parents the moment they started fussing…but now, we begin to take in and admire what it took to get that infant where it is today- perhaps life threatening complications. Sometimes we have to take such risks and sacrifice our comfortable state to receive the most wonderful of gifts.
The coast is what inspires me most. Where most people get out and run on the beach, make a few splashes and are done with the ordeal, I tend to take a little more time to take it all in. Not a single coast trip passes that I don't fall to my knees, grab a handful of sand and not admire how much work God must have put into our world, and to make it more pleasurable for us. The bible verse "with the faith of a mustard seed" repeats in my head like a good song over and over to the point where you feel you could hear it no more. I want a faith like that. Not just the faith of a mustard seed, but the faith of a beach full of sand and all the creatures that occupy it. I can just picture God compassionately selecting each little grain of sand that ever so nicely cradles itself in my finger tips. Clouds and trees to me are no longer just clouds and trees- they are works of art: defined and surreal. This world is simply God's mural. As a child is being born, God begins His brush strokes. I can just picture God fluffing each little cloud, so that He can grasp our attention just for a moment to say "hey! Look what I can do!"
The wind that swept the face of the earth use to inconvenience me. Sand in the eyes is not my idea of a good time. Now, I feel as if it's just God hugging me, like He's putting his hand on my shoulder and walking along side me….leaving "footsteps in the sand." It's during these times that I daydream- of myself as I am now, walking around a very large pond surrounded by a grassy, open plain, sun shining, hand-in-hand with Jesus as He loving tucks the first grown daisy behind my ear, just like we picture the children in the story books. Sometimes it makes me cry out of excitement and anticipation. I come out of this daydream, only to be in another- only, this one's real.
It breaks my heart to hear people claim they don't believe, and it breaks my heart even more, to know it breaks God's heart to hear them say it. I struggle just to find the words to convince them, when there really is nothing I need to say at all- just walk out on that beach, grab a handful of sand and think. No big bang or ape-to-man theory can explain a miracle.
But well, I'm getting older, and I'm sure there are things that have yet to be unveiled to me, and now, I feel as if though if they came at me by storm, I have the strength the conquer them. I have found a place in my life where I am comfortable, happy, content, and looking forward to more. No, I don't do everything by the book. I don't do everything right, and I make good, solid mistakes- just as anyone else would. I strive to be the best I can, and to show Christ in all my actions. I try to see the world through the eyes of others. I'm at ease knowing I can put myself in other people's shoes. I hurt when they hurt, and I'm happy when they're happy. There is no time for jealousy or grudges. Life is entirely too short. My goal is to make the best of it, so that I am only more amazed when I reach Heaven. You see, if I find this world amazing- since it is my choice to make it so- then I cannot be disappointed for what waits for me. I can only be excited to see more. Be carefree. Stop and take in a breath of fresh air, grab a handful of sand- and throw it high, stop and make a shape out of the "God-fluffed" clouds, buy lunch for a needy person when you would not have enough for yourself, and show love in everything you do and say. Life is what you make of it.
Utilize your talent. If you can't find your talent, find someone else who displays an obvious talent, and just maybe, they will find one in you, too! My favorite quote goes like this: "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." And I hope (hope!), that I can stand tall in front of my God, and say, I cherished my friendships, I laughed and enjoyed the life you gave me, I learned to forgive, I gave grace, I took notice of your mural, and I loved. So just as a child likes to help their parents with a complicated task, I would only hope that in return, He would place the brush in my hand. Remember: the reward is always greater.


~H3

Define: Love.

[Another one of my MySpace blog transfers =)...]


How do you define "love"?

Merriam-Webster says "a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; affection and tenderness felt by lovers; affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests; an object of warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion."
…But is this a term that can be defined? And by who is it defined? How can anyone put a description to the word? Perhaps it's the stereotype- or what people expect love to look like, or feel like. The media tries to give us ideas of what it should be- question what you're absorbing. Critical thinking is key! Develop your own morals...
Then there is infatuation. How do you know the difference between infatuation and love? They are defined very similarly and to try and distinguish the two is like trying to teach a newborn to walk. Who decides what is love, or what is infatuation? When you tell a person you truly care about that you love them- what do you think of when you say it? My perception of the word- as I think of it (without really thinking about it…if that makes any sense)- is someone you can laugh with, share similar hobbies or interests, always thinking of ways to make them happy, a steadfast, intense kind of friendship that simply means so much more, getting that "the-whole-world-stops" feeling when you're with that special someone, feeling completely and utterly devoted, faithful.
How do you value a relationship? Love does not make you feel miserable, rushed, uncomfortable, bored, hated, or (God forbid) sad. If the person you "loved" changed in their appearance- would you still "love" them for their personality? If I were ever to put together a dictionary, I would have to halt when it came to the "L's". Who gave me the right to define love? Is my definition of it similar to every else's? There has to be some sanctity in the person who can compile the words to define such a precious, indescribable word.
How do you know when it is the right time to tell a person you love them? Does anyone know? Obviously, a phrase like that should not be taken lightly- a word that is too extraordinary for description. It is simply a state of unspeakable happiness. Of course, back to reality now- no one can really be on "cloud 9," as such a place does not exist- it is simply a metaphor. I like to use to terms "ineffable ecstasy", or a "thing of untellable splendor." How on earth could you really give a good, plausible explanation for such a word? Every other word in the English dictionary seems accounted for.
Now here is a kicker: try putting it into an analogy! For example: book is to read, as television is to watch, as love is to….as love is to…*thinking*, *pondering*, *sighs*. Hm. Where do you go from there? Not only that, but just because you love someone, doesn't mean they love you back, at least not yet. Though you feel it, they may not. Then again…they might. When is the right time to say it? Timing is everything. You just might spend all this time considering proclaiming it, but worrying that they might not feel the same- but then again, they might be thinking the same just as you are. You feel it camping out on your tongue and exploding from your heart, but the fear of rejection overwhelms a nervous soul.
True love never turns out to be abusive or makes you cry more than you smile. Love can take over your whole life if you are not careful. Let it not take you over, but become a part of who you are. When you think about the person you love it should make you want to be a better person, for them. Would you bend over backwards for them? It should be somewhat like the innocence of a child: uninterrupted, and inexplicable.
So no, I cannot define it- no one can- nevertheless has the right to. It is up to you to take the initiative to define it for yourself. Make love a choice. Don't love your family because that is what is expected, don't love Christ because the Bible says so, don't love your friends because media says you should- love is by choice! Remember it is an unconditional, forgiving, grace filled emotion that is relentless yet undefined.

"Love: We think about it, dream about it, lose sleep worrying about it. When we don't have it, we search for it and when we discover it we don't know what to do with it. We fear losing it. It is the source of all pleasure and pain but we can't predict which it will be from one moment to the next. It's a short word...easy to spell...difficult to define...and yet, somehow, impossible to live without."


<3



~H3

To You, My Child:

To You, My Child:

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad

And So It Begins...

O how long I have needed to begin one of these. I tend to talk a lot, because, like most people, I have a lot to say and I conjure up a lot of things that most people don't- only- I thoroughly enjoy voicing any and all of my opinions, and most importantly- my thoughts...as ridiculous as they may be.

Speaking of ridiculous. I was on our local newspaper's website, only to find two gentlemen [with the mindset of young children, mind you] arguing over the spelling of ridiculous. Bizarre, I know. One guys spelled it "rediculous", and the other insisted on correcting him. It didn't help they were already fighting about something completely unrelative to grammar- so it was just fuel to the fire for the other guy. Kinda funny, I thought. Sometimes you gotta stop and think about the silly things we fight about, and how pointless it really is. My Grandma always told me when I was a little girl and I wanted something really bad, but kept changing my mind, she asked me if I would regret not getting it the next day I woke up. In most cases, I would wake up with regret knowing I'd missed out. But we could always go back to the store and buy it the next day. Sometimes, I find myself repeating that phrase in my head when it comes to the words that come out of my mouth- and whether or not I'd regret speaking them the next morning. God inspired my Grandma and my Grandma inspired me.

Anywho. The office is quiet- everyone's off to lunch now. I am just sitting here...typing away, drinking my coffee, which, by now, has gotten a tad cold, and I am thinking of popping it into the microwave for a few. Then again, my portable heater is warm, and I'm afraid if I get up now, I'll get cold again. There's a big board meeting going on with some of the hot shots. Ugh. Meetings stress me out. But, I am almost ready for lunch- and I will be long gone...for an hour anyways.

This weekend is bound to be bitter-sweet. As soon as I get amped about one aspect of it, I am saddened by the latter. We're going four-wheeling with a bunch of good friends, which will be a good last sha-bang before we all go back to college- or in some of their cases- new families. Zach leaves Sunday evening for school, and my heart goes with him! Though he reminds me almost every day, that he only has six months left.

O how God blesses me...and in so many ways. Sometimes I have to dig to find them. I recently discovered a really good song. A few actually. But the one that stands out most to me is "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath, a Christian composer. My iTunes count must be something of 100 over the period of three days. True story! My suggestion to you is: listen to it; every word. Never seems to get old.

I have several blogs from my MySpace I will be transferring over soon enough- since I am ever so behind on my blogging etiquette. I will need to get back into the swing of things- but until then, I'll post some of my aged work. Oldies, yet goodies. Thanks for reading. Till tomorrow...

~H3LiX

*Today, I am thankful for: Psalm 40, Rascal Flatts, Half & Half creamer, and Shower Radios.