Who Loves You?

I DO!!

Since the day I met you, I knew there was something very unique about you. About everything about you. I loved the way you talked to me and smiled at me…even in my childish immature ways. And I know I was nothing more than an annoyance to you (and Ryan). Every night at camp was dreadful, because I knew at some point during the night, I would have to leave you. Every morning was a blessing, because I knew once again I would get to see your smiling face! Of course, not being quite yet a teen, I was smitten with any boy that paid any attention to me in the least, and you gave me more than the other boys, so you were always my favorite. I was sad because I was aware that once camp was over, those little butterflies flying around in my stomach would soon collapse from our soon-to-be growing distance apart. And I couldn’t imagine never seeing you again- or at least until next year’s church camp took place. A little birdy revealed to me that you actually lived in Roseburg! I was so excited! From that point on, our relationship kind of flourished- awkwardly. I was first friends with Tab. From Tab I met Jordan, plus Jared and Rachel. I remember spending Graffiti together with a group of our friends (I miss your Jeep) for years. We spent countless movie nights side by side and went on many riding trips. It’s amazing to find that our favorite hobby brought us together, and at one of the places we love the most. On January 19th of 2008, I met my best friend and saw him in a whole new light. Fate, I believe, played a large roll in the beginning of “You and I”. The night before, we had plans to go to the dunes with Jordan and Pickens. Jordan ended up having to go back to school, and Pickens remembered he had to work the next morning, so, that left the two of us. We were so anxious to go, we just decided to meet up at your house, load up your quad and drive to the coast! I remember how awkward, yet no-so-much the drive over there went. We talked about a whole line up of things…the way your truck sounded (and smoked) when you fired it up, all kinds of engine stuff (that went WAY over my head)…but I listened and pretended to understand, because I knew that’s what made sense to you. We got so excited because everyone in Roseburg said the weather was going to be terrible at the coast (it was raining in town), however, about halfway there, the sun shined so bright we could hardly see. More serious conversations fell, and I remember becoming frustrated with my history of relationships (mainly just frustrated that I didn’t have you), and asking you “is there something wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong?” You kept assuring me I was doing nothing wrong, but just attracting all the wrong people. I kept hinting at what you might be looking for in a girlfriend. You reminded me of how much I “matured” over the years, blah blah blah. We talked about that most of the way to the dunes. We had a great day. The sun shone most of the day, and sprinkled the rest. We rode for a couple of hours at Horsfall and took a lunch break to Taco Bell, as we usually did when we went to the coast with friends. After Taco Bell, we drove back over to ride again, only this time, it was raining harder. We sat in your truck watching the rain fall for at least a half an hour, picking up where our conversation left off earlier. The rain didn’t calm down for a while, so we decided to go to the end lot and walk out to the beach. We walked around talking for a while, and checked out the wrecked ship stuck in the sand, and laughed about how we could easily pop a tire riding on that beach! Once the rain slowly died down, we headed back to truck and stopped midway on the little wooden walkway they had built leading up the beach entrance. We had a conversation talking about how good of friends we’ve become over the years, how much we’ve grown up, were alike, and how much we’ve experienced as individuals. We were glad to be able to talk again after about a year of ‘solitary confinement’. We went back to the dune entrance and rode some more. I remember night time fell and we decided to go to Spinreel and do a little night riding. We both knew it was crazy because no one was out there in the event we needed help, but we were young and dumb! We did it! We unloaded the bike in the rain and went for it. The very first large dune we came across was entirely too steep, for any quad really. We plunged into the sand and I fell backwards as the bike came to a sudden stop. The dune was as vertical as it gets. We laughed, after we realized neither of us was hurt, got back on the bike, and took off to head back to the truck (it was safer there). It was a long, eventful, yet successful day. We grew a lot in our friendship and brought our comfort level back to where it use to be and then some. We spent about a year forbidden to talk to one another, and yet it felt like it was just a day. The first half hour of the drive was silent. We both knew what each other was thinking, but neither of us wanted to be the first to fess up. Finally, out of nowhere, you spoke up. The first line out of your mouth was “So, I want to know how you feel about me. As in, you and I.” I pinched myself like they do in the movies. I just knew this wasn’t happening. I had been head over heels for you for years, but just came to realize that nothing would ever come of it. I had convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough for you, and that you deserved better. I sat there silent, and repeated your question in my head a million times over until it dawned on me that you were really being honest. “Say something!” you demanded. Hahaha. I wish I could have, but I was in too much shock. I had to roll my jaw up off the floor before I could muster up enough courage to answer your question. But I did. I could have talked your ear off with all the built up conversations I had ran through my head all day long. If you didn’t say something first, I would have. We agreed to slowly work our way into our newfound relationship, to “get to know each other better”. That never held true. From that night on, our relationship flourished immediately. Not a day went by that I wasn’t completely head over heels for you. To this day, January 19th of 2009, one year after our solo dune trip, I am still head over heels for you. This letter could go on and on and on, but you know what all fits into the empty spaces, and that’s what matters. I’m only reminding you of the beginning as I remember it like it was just yesterday. Fate put us through so many trials and tribulations from one relationship to another. I think the reason we were never satisfied is because fate wanted us to be together. It is perfect, because it was suppose to be. The best part is, we have so much more to look forward to. Our lives haven’t even begun yet. To many more years spent together…